Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Just Beat It ! (Bottoms Up -part 2)

Here is the very first and the foremost GCO (Great Career Option, remember) that I introduce to you mortal earthlings.

Just like it was the west which found out the vast IT talent pool in our country, and rediscovered India - India became the hub, the spoke, the offshoring state, the smaller silicon valley (not the ones which Sushmita and the likes have) and you name it; It was also the west which foresaw another great Indian opportunity, which was to become the talk (or sound) of every home albeit this time in India itself.
Yes sir, it was in the mid 80's that MJ gave away the clue by singing BEAT IT! Not that our very own Industry experts could not sense it, infact Chintu AKA Rishi, pointed it  much before MJ - the advent of a great era, in his mind blowing and ear blasting performance of "Parbat kay Us Paar, Parbat kay iss paar, Goonj uthi Chhum Chhum". All the great masters sensed well in advance that coming was the time of  DHOL.

Yes, believe you me, THIS IS the hottest career move you will ever take - Pick up the Dhol, tabla, Damru, Tashay, Mridang, Bongo, Congo, Drum, or even a friggin CHIMTA (चिमटा) - start beating it insanely, and see what wonderful direction it curves your career into, if you have any that is.

Gone are the days of writing million codes of softwares for clients in the west in the day time, and then debugging them in the night - throw away the life limiting PC, and invest your time (which you have plenty, because you can take out time to read my blog) and money (if you are left with any, that is) in the machine of the future, and present - the great DHOL.

I know so far you think I am an Idiot, but trust me I am far better than the great management guru who is still counting his chicken. My theory is based on solid grounds, as solid as the story, on which Govinda's movie is based.
Remember the songs "dhol bajnay laga", "doli taro - Dhol bajay", "Nagada Nagada Nagada Baja" ? well they were the signs - and the real opportunity came when the movie DHOL was released (most of you might not remember even hearing the name, but thats not the point am making)- That was it, the flood gates to a great career in percussion was opened.
Mangat Ram, a dhol veteran, who played dhol a million times in punjabi weddings on "Yeh Desh hai Veer jawano ka, albelo ka mastaano ka", has come a long way. Now, senior lecturer at the JRDU (Jhantu Ram Dhol University - a school of dhol and drum established in remembrance of his father), says that many new avenues have come up where the dholwala or the dholkiwali's are required. Before other than tightly protected openings in the the Dhol brigade for wedding, there were only openings with the HMS (Hijda Maha Sabha - a group that dances at your altar, or in your lap, when you are blessed with a baby boy, or a girl,got married, or travelling in the train, and robs you off clean by demanding large sum, or some time even slapping (mostly in trains))
And then the dhol was popularised by the GMDD (Gunda Mawali Dundaa Dal) who made it a point to take the dhol (along with various other appendages like ustra, katta, chain and other various life threatening instruments) in the green park Kanpur, to watch  the Cricket match between India and.. any team. Soon it became a must have equipment along with the ticket (sometimes without tickets) at all the cricket playgrounds, without which the entry was banned (self imposed). Kallu kasai remembers very vividly, and fondly how he broke open his prized dhol on the head of Ghaplu goonga, the pakistan supporter, at the Feroze shah Kotla.

Circa 2005: A man emerged, who gave a clean image to the profession of beating the dhol or tabla. Our very own Surinder, who along mystic laugh तबला, और अपना बैंड बजवाता रहा , in the Great Indian Laughter Challenge. Soon this man was seen in almost anything that had to do with laughing, became the talk of the nation, and most revered in Punjab
That was it, beating profession took a ski jump, and never looked back
Present day, Location: Your house: TV Channel: Colors, Serial : does it matter? "Kya hogi teri uttran, choti bahu, na jaana is desh meri ladoo,  or any of the heart wrenching, eye squeezing serial - If you have observed - there are more dholwalas / tabla walas in the serial than the actual artists, infact these tablchi's are the real artist. That is the only reason why the actors have very less part to play apart from continuous sobbing, ogling, abusing, and exhibiting their wedding clothes (I wonder why they all are in their wedding clothes all the time, even when someone has died, or at bedtime). The real part is of the tabla- A man gets up (in his sunday best) and asks directions to relieve his bursting bladders, and just as he turns left, ghar ki bahu gets up and points to the right "Gusalkhana udhar hai" गुसलखाना उधर है ! That is it - the hell breaks loose, whole gathering looks at the bahu, almost 20 people including her husband, her devil nanad, nagin saas, haraami devar, haveli ram type sasur, and many mores - they all are shown bursting out emotions in their own ways of their character - the camera goes round and round, round of each actor, and also going in circles in the whole room. You close your eyes to avoid motion sickness, but your nerves start to explode because continuous and loud tabla beats, which go up and down in no fixed pattern.
Another scene: Husband is being served dinner by her lovely wife Sushila, when she suddenly asks aap Daal Aur lenge? आप दाल और लेंगे ? Thats the trigger point, the man is taken back 20 years before and the camera goes black and white, back to colour, flashes of red green and yellow showcase the return of Kummo ( Dileep's sister; don't ask me who Dileep is, for he himself doesn't know his identity) who used to ask in the similar fashion आप दाल और लेंगे ? And all this commotion happening in the middle of nerve wrecking cacophony of Tabla, Dhol, Dholak, Chimta, Bongo and what ever director could arrange in his meager budget. एक खाना खाने वाला, एक खाना परोसने वाली, और बहनचो**. पांच पांच बजाने वाले !
I cannot emphasize enough, but the household is incomplete without a personal dholki master. Personal trainer is a passe, and you better start looking ahead in the direction of taking up the dhol.
There are already talks in my neighbourhood, where Kulakshini Kamini Aunty is complaining to Seedhi Seema about her husband, how he has started bajaoing anything in site to keep the harmony of the family, just because they cant afford their own तबलची Tabalchi, not even on the weekends.
On the other hand, raunchy Ritu boasts how they have saved enough money already to get their own tabalchis, so that they can have their 2 square meals in the backdrop of violent drumming but soothing sounds, and when next time there is a party at there place, how proudly in front of everyone they would throw a punchline to their handpicked team of dhol masters - रुक क्यों गए ? बजाओ !

Who says that you cant have you own dhol and beat it too? While I am going to queue up in front of the COLORS studios with my dhol, I leave you with enough food for thought

बजाते रहो !

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